You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
All the doctor said was why
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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