i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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