did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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