We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
