you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
