Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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