RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
