I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
