This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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