i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
