Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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