I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
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