I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
