I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
