Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
