I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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