Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
