you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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