on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
