Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
