it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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