I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
