One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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