For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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