I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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