Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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