Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
