I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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