Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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