What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I wanna passion pit in your ass
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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