i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
