Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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