ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
