At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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