Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
