If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
