I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize