tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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