i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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