Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
