you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
