how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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