I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
