you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
