just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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