HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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