My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
