I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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