Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
