he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
