went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
