you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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