(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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