But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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