are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
