Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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