try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
