Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
