i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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