wanna go halves on a baby?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
