im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
