I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
