he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
