i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
