I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?