Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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