lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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