Need sex. Gaining weight.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
